09Mar10

Sallamualaikum,

I really like this article not sure of the source though,

THE TWO FAREWELLS OF A WOMAN

Every woman is seen off from her home on two occasions.
Once when she leaves her parents’ home to get married, and the second time when she leaves her home in this world to travel to her abode in the hereafter.

Each girl grows up knowing that her parents’ home is not her permanent home and that she will, one day, have to bid her family farewell to settle in her own home.
If only all young girls would wait in anticipation for and dream about their second farewell as much as they do for the first.
If only they would prepare for the second one as much as they do for the first.
If only each parent would mentally and physically prepare their daughters for the second departure as much as they do for the first.

Although the reality is that we should prepare for the second far more than the first, for our eternal fate depends on how well we are received when we reach our final destination.

Consider the following:

*During the first farewell, there is a great anxiety about whether or not the husband-to-be will be happy with her. Whereas for the second journey we have to worry whether or not Allah will be pleased with what He sees.

*Before the first journey the girl will take a long bath to beautify herself, whereas for the second she will be bathed by others.

*During the first journey she takes a grand luggage with her, whereas the luggage for the second journey is nothing but righteous deeds.

*She will share her joy with every woman present at her first farewell, whereas during the second one she will be all alone.

*During her first farewell she is dressed in the most expensive of outfits to please her husband, whereas the dress that will beautify and adorn her for the second journey is the the attire of “Taqwa”.

*Invitations are handed out to celebrate the auspicious event of her Wedding.
Here Allah Himself invites her to Jannah. “And Allah invites towards the abode of peace.” (Al-Quraan)

*For her arrival, her new home in this world is decorated. For her arrival in Jannah, Allaah decorates Jannah such that “no eye has ever seen, no ear has ever heard, nor has such beauty ever crossed anyone’s imagination” (Hadeeth).

*On the occasion of a wedding, the hosts welcome the guests. Imagine a celebration in Jannah, where the host is Allah and we are the guests! Imagine being welcomed by Allah, while the angels also greet us.

*If the husband is happy with her, the first night the woman spends with him is most cherished, and she never ever has nor will enjoy such blissful sleep as she does on the night of her wedding. Similarly, if Allah is happy with us when we journey to Him, the Hadeeth states that the person is told in his/her grave “Sleep in the (peaceful/blissful) manner that a bride does.”

*If she is not accepted at her first home in the world, there is always the option of retuning to the sanctuary of her parents’ home where she will be taken care of. There could even be a second chance to build a new home. Whereas if we are not accepted in the court of Allah after the second farewell, there is no other place of refuge and no second chance.

Ponder, O sister! Which farewell should we concern ourselves with more??
If the journey of Marriage is given so much importance, and rightly so, how much more importance should we then give to the journey of the Hereafter?!!


04Mar10

Assallamuaalaikum,

I was just thinking about this, before starting my school work( because thats when all the good idea’s come) but ya here goes, have to get this off my chest..

EXPLAINING EMOTIONLESS PEOPLE.

I have the need to defend my race of people, I call us the EP’s emotionless people of the world. Apparently I don’t show enough emotion, or at least that’s what people tell me. I often get that I don’t smile enough or that I am too calm and people assume I am an unhappy individual but in reality I think I am a very happy person. When I am happy I will say “I am happy” in plain words  not ” I am soooo happyyyyy!!!!!!!!!”.

I find it all has to do with ones personality,we are  not emo , in fact most of us are happy people we just don’t feel the need to express it the same way as everyone else. I find it particularly hard to deal with women because so much of our behaviour and interactions are  based on emotions. Not talking to someone in a certain manner can often get you in hot water.

Many sisters assume that I do not like them because I don’t scream my eyes out and squeal like a  pig   after not seeing them for a long time, apparently  my weak smile and handshake/ hug (on a rare day),   is not enough for some folks..but meh.. I sometimes get where people are coming from, but really I don’t feel the need to express my friendship with gestures that are not a part of my character.

Some people take my emotion-less-ness-ness as being too shy or quiet, this is far from the case, I don’t mean to toot my horn but I’m actually really good at presentations. kthnxbye.

The following scenario is my pet peeve and I’m sure other people who are labeled as being “too calm” or “emotionless” have the same issue;

Person A: How are you?

Me: I’m good. *straight face*

Person A:  Are you really good? You don’t seem good? Are you sure? Whats wrong? * followed by a myriad of annoying questions.

Me: *Internal voice: Umm are you okay, I said I’m good and that means I’m good k? ,g2gbye.*

I’m actually good, don’t worry *forced smile*

Just because someone is not literally jumping out of their shoes does not mean their not okay.

My conclusion to this rant is that people express their happiness in different ways. To some its more of an internal sense of happiness/contentedness that does not necessarily need to be backed up with squeals of joy and widening of eyes.

There are many positives and negatives to being emotionless. On the negative side, I end up offending people by being too plain with my words and in some cases have made friends/people I have to work with on a project cry because of my choice of words. I have a huge difficulty in working with sensitive people.  Positives, I find it very easy to keep those barriers up when working with the opposite gender as I keep it plain and simple, no fluff.

Tips on dealing with Emotionless People

  • Main: Do not take it personally,  just like some people are fake/annoying, emotionless folks do not show their feelings as much, take their word for it. I’m not saying to tolerate rudeness but if someone does not go crazy over something you’d like them too, don’t take it personal!
  • If someone says they are feeling like “A” do not assume they are hiding a case of ” ABCDEF” and a bit of “Z” on the side.
  • If you want someone to “let their guard down”, you have to let them know you for awhile. There are certain scenarios/people around which I show more emotion based on trust.

To ahlul-emotionless;

  • Try to practice your emotions sometimes, a smile here or there at your brothers and sisters in Islam  can go along way, I know its hard but it makes people feel like you appreciate them in your life.
  • Watch your tone, while you make think of saying something in your head, but it comes out as really dry and plain which can hurt a lot of people (especially sensitive ones).

/Rant end/


Al-Kauthar

06Sep09

               Muslim, An-Nasai and Abu Dawud all recorded from Anas Radiallahu anho that he said,

” While we were with Allah’s messenger Sallahu alayhi  wassallam in the masjid he dozed off. Then he lifted his head smiling. We said ” Oh Allahs messenger! What has caused you to laugh, ”

He said,

«لَقَدْ أُنْزِلَتْ عَلَيَّ آنِفًا سُورَة»

                                  “Verily a surah was just revealed to me”

Then he recited,   

[إِنَّآ أَعْطَيْنَـكَ الْكَوْثَرَ – فَصَلِّ لِرَبِّكَ وَانْحَرْ – إِنَّ شَانِئَكَ هُوَ الاٌّبْتَرُ ]

Verily, We have granted you Al-Kawthar. Therefore turn in prayer to your Lord and sacrifice. For he who hates you, he will be cut off.

Then he said,   

«أَتَدْرُونَ مَا الْكَوْثَرُ؟»

Do you all know what is Al-Kawthar?

We said, `Allah and His Messenger know best.’ He said,

«فَإِنَّهُ نَهَرٌ وَعَدَنِيهِ رَبِّي عَزَّ وَجَلَّ،عَلَيْهِ خَيْرٌ كَثِيرٌ، هُوَ حَوْضٌ تَرِدُ عَلَيْهِ أُمَّتِي يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ، آنِيَتُهُ عَدَدُ النُّجُومِ فِي السَّمَاءِ، فَيُخْتَلَجُ الْعَبْدُ مِنْهُمْ فَأَقُولُ: رَبِّ إِنَّهُ مِنْ أُمَّتِي، فَيَقُولُ: إِنَّكَ لَا تَدْرِي مَا أَحْدَثَ بَعْدَك»

(Verily, it is a river that my Lord, the Mighty and Majestic, has promised me and it has abundant goodness. It is a pond where my Ummah will be brought to on the Day of Judgement. Its containers are as numerous as the stars in the sky. Then a servant of Allah from among them will be (prevented from it) and I will say: “O Lord! Verily, he is from my Ummah (followers).” Then He (Allah) will say: “Verily, you do not know what he introduced (or innovated) after you.)”


I stole.

I must have been around eight at the time, I can’t remeber exactly. It was back in those days where the years blended together in what seemed like a never-ending childhood.

There was this girl that lived in my neighbourhood, lets call her Aisha, who seemed to be the epitome of cool. Being athletic, witty and strong  earned her  respect from all the kids in the neighbourhood.

I on the other hand was quite the opposite of Aisha. I was more into reading but I wasn’t completley innocent though.  I spent many summer afternoons tucked away in my favourite corner at my local public library, drifting off into novels, geography books  and anything else I could get my hands on.

On my countless trips to and from the library I would take a different route to avoid encounters with the neighbourhood kids as they rolled their eyes, “Library again, huh?” I would simply nod my head in embarrassment and keep on going; nothing could stop me from my love of books.

One day I decided to chill with Aisha,  we did the regular routine of aimlessly riding our bikes. As it came close to sunset,  she mentioned that she wanted to buy some candy and I obediently tagged along not knowing that this evening would take an unlikely turn.

She eventually  bought her candy and then turned to me and whispered as she pointed to the candy rack.

“Just take some, people do it all the time,” I hesitated and tried to avoid eye contact but she wasn’t having it.

“Trust me Dawud*  and them steal all the time, they steal toys and cards and they NEVER get caught!” she exclaimed.

I gave in, thinking I could finally impress her, thinking that just maybe I could be as cool as Dawud  and “them”.

My heart was beating as we quickly exited the store. Once I was safe from the storeowner’s eyes I  looked at the candy in my sweaty palm. It was peppermint, I hated peppermint candy. My stomach churned with the guilt.  Aisha grabbed for a candy and started chewing looking at me to do the same.

I  foolishly put the candy in my mouth and started to chew,  it tasted  stale.  I couldn’t get rid of the lump in my throat as I swallowed I felt the weight of what I had just done for a 50 cent candy.  I knew what I was doing was haraam, I knew it,   Allah subhnawat’ Ta’ala would not be happy with this, with me.

I never got caught, but passing by the same store throughout my life again at ages 12, 13,14,  15, 16, 17 still evokes the same feeling of guilt. Aisha and many of the kids I had wanted  to impress had long moved out of the neighbourhood, Dawud, like many of the other Muslim boys in my neighbourhood,  has been in and out of  jail for awhile and the rest of his friends are dropouts or dealers. Passing by the shop to send a letter today took me way back in time.

Its amazing what human beings do to gain respect from people, as kids we do it without really taking it in at the moment. But still as young adults we fall into the same traps seeking acceptance, love, and respect  from human beings. Whether it be doing acts we know we shouldn’t just to impress our friends or family or falling into the traps of having haraam relationships

Throughout it all we forget that we should be seeking acceptance from Allah subhana wa Ta’la not from humans who will never be satisfied even if we were to give them ourselves and all we own.

Looking back I laugh at all the things I did to fit in with Aisha and them,  from joining the basketball team to pulling pranks on neighbours. Regardless,  I learned alot from the peppermint candy experience, that incident pushed me off the edge –I would no longer do what she wanted.  I had come to accept the fact that I  couldn’t be the friend she  wanted me to be.


hmmm at work on lunch break so might as well write something. My summer job will soon come to an end (friday), I’m going to miss it getting paid to do very little work, I spend most of my time reading articles online.

So we’ve reached Ramadan day four, Today was the first day I got to fast and I’m finding fasting surprisingly easy (well the hunger part that is), I think it’s because I don’t regularly eat a lot outside of Ramadan so I’m used to it.

I attended taraweeh last night and the masjid was PACKED.  On a normal non-Ramadan day theres maybe 2-10 sisters tops in the sisters area and sometimes its completely empty but it was jam-packed last night. We came a bit late so we had to pray in one of the hallways near the washroom and the kids daycare room (not the best place for concentration) but it was worth it nonetheless.

I was listening to this ilminar by Sh. Muhhammed Al-Shareef ( can be found here:  http://www.4shared.com/file/125775422/90492b61/The_Fasting__The_Furious_-_Ilminar.html —and one of his tips for people who don’t know Arabic is to read up on the translation the night before of what’s going to be read at taraweeh. I find it so much easier to concentrate on the parts of the Quran which I have memorized/read. So inshaAllah I want to implement that this year. Time and time again I realize how important it is to know Arabic. My Arabic class will be starting up again soon times, it has actually helped me in many ways though its only once a week, I can pick up on some words here and there.

My goals for Ramadan would be;

-Working on my relationship with the Quran, contemplating and reflecting on it

-Being more aware of my behavior while fasting.

-Trying to go to taraweeh every night insha’Allah

-Making the most of my time in general

I found this hadith below quite interesting./

The Prophet Sallahu Alayhi wasaallam is reported to have said, “Many a one who fasts obtains nothing from his fasting but hunger and thirst, and many a one who prayers during the night obtains nothing from his prayer but wakefulness.”

Danngg, Imagine fasting your whole life and not gaining any benefit from it because you don’t have the right intentions, May Allah protect us from that Ameen.


24Aug09

Sallamualaikum & Ramadan Mubarak!

I’m going to  have a lot of changes in my life in the coming weeks and I thought I’d start a blog just to keep track of some of my thoughts in the process. I’m not exactly sure how to work this (not computer-savy at all) but I guess I’ll figure it out somehow.

Below is a story from “ Glimpses of the lives of Righteous People” compiled by Majdi Muhhamad Ash-Shahawi. I got it as a gift from a sister and just let it ly on the shelf for awhile, I decided to read it recently and  fell in love with the story below. I keep on reading it again and again especially when I feel like I’ve commited so many sins and can’t possible ask for forgiveness.

How one Good Deed led to his repentance.
When a righteous man was asked about the incident that led to his repentance and to his becoming a practicing Muslim, he answered with the following narrative:

I was a young man and truth be told, I sinned whenever the opportunity arose. One day, a young girl caught my attention. She had the most beautiful face that I had ever seen, and I was bent on having her. I signaled her for her to come to me, and when she drew nearer, I saw a look of terror in her face.

“Do not fear for I will not harm you,” I reassured her. But my words did nothing to allay her terror; in fact, she began to tremble like the long leaf of a date-palm tree trembles on a windy day.

“Tell me your story,” I said.

“By Allah,” , she began “You must know, my brother, that I have never before done anything like this. But I have three daughters, and it has been three days since any of them has tasted any food. Today, hunger and compassion for them caused me to come out like this”

For the first time in my life, I felt pity; her story truly moved me, and I no longer entertained the intention of taking advantage of her. After finding out from her where she lived, I went there with as much money, clothing, wheat and other items I could carry. I then returned and told my mother what had occurred.

It so happened that I kept a journal; in it, I would (proudly) record all of my evil exploits.

My mother, who knew about my journal said, “My son this is the first good deed you have ever performed. You have a journal in which you record your evil deeds, so get up and record in it this good deed.”

Upon opening my journal, I was shocked to see all the pages in it were blank, except the first page, on which was written a single line.

إِنَّ ٱلۡحَسَنَـٰتِ يُذۡهِبۡنَ ٱلسَّيِّـَٔاتِۚ

“Verily the good deeds remove the evil deeds.” (Surah Hud v.114)

I immediately raised my hands towards the sky and said, “By your Might and Majesty, I will never disobey you.

Subhan’Allah!