04Mar10

Assallamuaalaikum,

I was just thinking about this, before starting my school work( because thats when all the good idea’s come) but ya here goes, have to get this off my chest..

EXPLAINING EMOTIONLESS PEOPLE.

I have the need to defend my race of people, I call us the EP’s emotionless people of the world. Apparently I don’t show enough emotion, or at least that’s what people tell me. I often get that I don’t smile enough or that I am too calm and people assume I am an unhappy individual but in reality I think I am a very happy person. When I am happy I will say “I am happy” in plain words  not ” I am soooo happyyyyy!!!!!!!!!”.

I find it all has to do with ones personality,we are  not emo , in fact most of us are happy people we just don’t feel the need to express it the same way as everyone else. I find it particularly hard to deal with women because so much of our behaviour and interactions are  based on emotions. Not talking to someone in a certain manner can often get you in hot water.

Many sisters assume that I do not like them because I don’t scream my eyes out and squeal like a  pig   after not seeing them for a long time, apparently  my weak smile and handshake/ hug (on a rare day),   is not enough for some folks..but meh.. I sometimes get where people are coming from, but really I don’t feel the need to express my friendship with gestures that are not a part of my character.

Some people take my emotion-less-ness-ness as being too shy or quiet, this is far from the case, I don’t mean to toot my horn but I’m actually really good at presentations. kthnxbye.

The following scenario is my pet peeve and I’m sure other people who are labeled as being “too calm” or “emotionless” have the same issue;

Person A: How are you?

Me: I’m good. *straight face*

Person A:  Are you really good? You don’t seem good? Are you sure? Whats wrong? * followed by a myriad of annoying questions.

Me: *Internal voice: Umm are you okay, I said I’m good and that means I’m good k? ,g2gbye.*

I’m actually good, don’t worry *forced smile*

Just because someone is not literally jumping out of their shoes does not mean their not okay.

My conclusion to this rant is that people express their happiness in different ways. To some its more of an internal sense of happiness/contentedness that does not necessarily need to be backed up with squeals of joy and widening of eyes.

There are many positives and negatives to being emotionless. On the negative side, I end up offending people by being too plain with my words and in some cases have made friends/people I have to work with on a project cry because of my choice of words. I have a huge difficulty in working with sensitive people.  Positives, I find it very easy to keep those barriers up when working with the opposite gender as I keep it plain and simple, no fluff.

Tips on dealing with Emotionless People

  • Main: Do not take it personally,  just like some people are fake/annoying, emotionless folks do not show their feelings as much, take their word for it. I’m not saying to tolerate rudeness but if someone does not go crazy over something you’d like them too, don’t take it personal!
  • If someone says they are feeling like “A” do not assume they are hiding a case of ” ABCDEF” and a bit of “Z” on the side.
  • If you want someone to “let their guard down”, you have to let them know you for awhile. There are certain scenarios/people around which I show more emotion based on trust.

To ahlul-emotionless;

  • Try to practice your emotions sometimes, a smile here or there at your brothers and sisters in Islam  can go along way, I know its hard but it makes people feel like you appreciate them in your life.
  • Watch your tone, while you make think of saying something in your head, but it comes out as really dry and plain which can hurt a lot of people (especially sensitive ones).

/Rant end/

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